| Acura Integra |
- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars |
| Acura Legend |
- I'm too bland for German cars |
| Acura NSX |
- I am impotent |
| Audi 90 |
- I enjoy putting out engine fires |
| Buick Park Avenue |
- I am older than 34 of the 50 states |
| Cadillac Eldorado |
- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman |
| Cadillac Seville |
- I am a pimp |
| Chevrolet Camaro |
- I enjoy beating the hell out of people |
| Chevrolet Chevette |
- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette |
| Chevrolet Corvette |
- I'm in a mid-life crisis |
| Chevrolet El Camino |
- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government |
| Chrysler Cordoba |
- I dig the rich Corinthian leather |
| Datsun 280Z |
- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well |
| Dodge Dart |
- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower |
| Dodge Daytona |
- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car |
| Ford Fairmont |
- (See Dodge Dart) |
| Ford Mustang |
- I slow down to 85 in school zones |
| Ford Crown Victoria |
- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up
behind them |
| Geo Storm |
- I will start the 11th grade in the fall. |
| Geo Tracker |
- I will start the 12th grade in the fall. |
| Honda del Sol |
- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at
all |
| Honda Civic |
- I have just graduated and have no credit |
| Honda Accord |
- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming |
| Infiniti Q45 |
- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending |
| Isuzu Impulse |
- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports |
| Jaguar XJ6 |
- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per
year. |
| Kia Sephia |
- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp |
| Lamborghini Countach |
- I only have one testicle |
| Lincoln Town Car |
- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers |
| Mercury Grand Marquis |
- (See above) |
| Mercedes 500SL |
- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph |
| Mercedes 560SEL |
- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole |
| Mazda Miata |
- I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler |
| MGB |
- I am dating a mechanic |
| Mitsubishi Diamante |
- I don't know what it means either |
| Nissan 300ZX |
- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. |
| Oldsmobile Cutlass |
- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts |
| Peugeot 505 Diesel |
- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List |
| Plymouth Neon |
- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena |
| Pontiac Trans AM |
- I have a switchblade in my sock |
| Porsche 911 Turbo |
- I have a three inch thingie |
| Porsche 944 |
- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me |
| Saturn SC2 |
- (See Honda Civic) |
| Subaru Legacy |
- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu |
| Toyota Camry |
- I am still in the closet |
| Volkswagon Beetle |
- I still watch Partridge Family reruns |
| Volkswagon Cabriolet |
- I am out of the closet |
| Volkswagon Microbus |
- I am tripping right now |
| Volvo 740 Wagon |
- I am frightened of my wife |
